Part 2: Masks and Vaccine Passports Fail as Ron DeSantis Invades Western Europe
A detailed examination of the dramatic territorial expansion from the most dangerous man in the world
Europe’s COVID policy has been a resounding success.
All throughout the continent, cases, hospitalizations and deaths have risen dramatically over the past several months, despite world leading vaccination rates, mask mandates, vaccine passports and forced segregation in the form of lockdowns for the “unvaccinated.”
Few places on earth are following The Science™ more closely than many countries throughout Europe. They’ve done everything The Experts have demanded, with unquestioning compliance from the vast majority of their citizens.
So why isn’t it working?
There can be only one reason. Only one man has the destructive capability required to fully defeat The Science™ by his mere presence. Only one person on earth could inspire a highly infectious respiratory virus to ignore disproven “interventions,” no matter how strict, and spread effectively through populations. Only he could cause colder temperatures to hit throughout much of the Northern Hemisphere. Only one man has that power.
It’s Ron DeSantis.
Good old Ron DeSantis. The destroyer of worlds. The bearer of COVID. It had to be him. It was always going to be him.
It’s all his fault. And it always will be.
Ron has taken over Europe so quickly and so thoroughly that it requires multiple articles to cover this remarkable achievement. This is Part 2 of The Great DeSantis Takeover.
The essential background can be found in Part 1:
But let’s dive in to the continuation of Ron’s European Adventure.
Norway
You’d think that with their extremely cold climate, a Florida resident such as Ron DeSantis, accustomed to sunshine and mild to warm temperatures, would avoid Norway.
But that would be your first mistake. Don’t ever underestimate Ron.
His quest for power and COVID destruction is not limited to regions with warm weather environments. And so, it was inevitable that Norway would fall.
July 30th, 2021. D-Day.
Just a month later cases went up in Norway, thanks to the DeSantis curse. Sure enough, the Monster of Miami imposed freedom on an unsuspecting populace by lifting most of their COVID restrictions. It didn’t work.
Now sure, Sweden has very few restrictions anyway, and has seen much lower rates of spread than Norway of late. But it’s all because Ronny didn’t set a good enough example by following the restrictions that were re-enacted without his approval.
As we’ve come to realize, government leadership is key to whether or not COVID interventions work. So naturally, it should come as no surprise that Norway is reporting higher case rates than Sweden ever has. I’m looking at you, Ron.
France
Oh France. Poor France.
France has endured so many invasions in its history. Just in the past 107 years, France has twice had to face the full might of the German war machine.
In World War I, Verdun and the Somme became household names as French forces (and their allies) threw themselves time and time again into no man’s land due to the doomed concept of élan vital and their dedication to the offensive.
In World War II, the Battle of France was an unmitigated disaster, as the immense and long-prepared defenses of the Maginot Line fell in a matter of weeks. It took years for the Nazis to be expelled from French soil.
But these minor historical incidents are nothing compared to the DeSantis Offensive.
For a country so consumed with preparing to defend against invasion, you’d think they’d have set up stronger protections against a brutal COVID dictator. But no. They were caught completely unawares.
August 17th. A day that will live in French infamy.
Sure, France has had mask mandates for well over a year. And sure, they had vaccine passports for nearly a month before the DeSantis Offensive. But that’s the power of Ronny D.
You might think that cases declining for a few months after his successful invasion would be because he encouraged stricter restrictions on the unvaccinated and more forced masking. But that was just Ron lulling the French into a false sense of security before he caused all of their carefully prepared COVID defenses to fail simultaneously in early November.
Some have claimed that the leader of Nazi occupied Vichy France, Marshal Philippe Pétain, betrayed his nation by cooperating with the German forces.
But even Pétain wouldn’t have conceived of something so insidious as making sure that nonsensical, anti-scientific and disproven COVID policies stop working.
That’s where Ron comes in. The Angel of Death. Some might say hyperbole. The French would say prophetic.
Denmark
Next on Ron’s list was the peace loving country of Denmark.
After completing the fastest invasion of France in history, our modern day Napoleon turned his attention to the Danes.
While media reports linked Florida’s summer surge to the opposition of vaccine mandates from the DeSantis administration, Denmark saw nearly world leading rates of vaccine uptake among the adult population.
So naturally, they have completely avoided any semblance of a surge due to their political leadership setting the correct example.
Just look at The Washington Post explaining how they “beat COVID”.
The former Surgeon General of the United States also highlighted how important it is to encourage high vaccination rates to end surges:
Eric Topol @EricTopol
Delta can be squashed. Look at Denmark. @OurWorldInData https://t.co/2lXULOSoopBut that was pre-Ron. Oh Ron.
September 24th. The DeSantis Coup.
Just look. Despite 95% of adults being fully vaccinated, dastardly DeSantis immediately caused cases in Denmark to skyrocket to the highest level of the pandemic.
Even after the legislature managed to pass vaccine passports behind his back, cases continued to rise dramatically.
That’s just how powerful he is.
When world leading experts like Eric Topol and Jerome Adams announce that Denmark proves how easy it is to beat the Delta variant and end surges with high vaccination rates, and then the country they praise sees a huge surge with one of the highest vaccination rates in the world, there’s only one possible explanation — Ron DeSantis.
The timing is remarkable, isn’t it?
Just when you think you’re out of the woods with The Experts™ declaring that The Science™ has been an unmitigated success, Ron strikes. The consequences are immediate and devastating.
Turns out that the only way to “squash Delta” and “end this surge” is if you prevent DeSantis from taking over. Don’t be Denmark.
Belgium
The Belgians have nearly matched Denmark’s vaccination rate, with ~90% of adults fully vaccinated.
They also reinstated their mask mandate, which never ended in the most populous region of the country.
Was any of that enough to overcome the force of DeSantis?
No, of course not.
I’d ask if you’d be able to guess when Ron DeSantis took over, without a label identifying the date, but the answer is so incredibly obvious, I won’t bother.
October 1st. Cases immediately increased a few weeks later and continued well after the mask mandate was reinstated.
That’s Ron’s impact.
It gives me chills just to think about it.
The Netherlands
I’ve hidden Ron’s invasion of The Netherlands from this chart as well, but I’d bet you can guess where on the curve he came in.
It’s miraculous how consistent it is. He moves so swiftly from country to country, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
The Dutch have tried masks, they’ve tried vaccine passports and lockdowns. And it all would have worked too, if only DeSantis didn’t get in the way.
Think I’m joking?
Just look at this Bloomberg report from June of last year:
“Dutch Cooperation.” Did you catch that? Dutch cooperation. Compliance and trust in leadership. That’s what works.
But the DeSantis tornado blowing into the Low Countries prevented it from working. That’s the problem. It always is.
I haven’t been able to get to Portugal, Spain, Ireland, Italy and the UK just yet, but don’t worry. There’s plenty of time for Part 3.
Ron isn’t resting in his never ending quest for power and increasing COVID cases.
As The Experts™ and the media knows, it’s his fault that the numbers went up in Florida over the summer, just as they did last summer. And of course, The Experts™ and the media knew all along that if he had just imposed common sense measures like mask mandates and vaccine passports, the surge would have never happened in the first place.
And he’s also responsible for the failure of mask mandates and vaccine passports all over Europe, because he conquered the entire continent within a matter of weeks.
The lesson to be learned here isn’t that interventions championed by The Experts™ as followers of The Science™ don’t work. It’s that when the numbers go up around the world, you can be sure it’s the fault of Ron DeSantis.
"Now I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds." Ron DeSantis
Thank you for the amazing laughs. Your snark is 10/10 would definitely recommend.